First, the hearwarming. A toddler with a new best friend. And a pretty good arm!

Next, the cathartic. This sleazeball gets a hard lesson from a waitress who isn’t taking his garbage.

And the scary – how badly did this human cannonball miss this net?

And for the future, here’s a movie coming out in 2019 whose trailer just dropped at San Diego ComiCon.

UPDATES:

The human cannonball, Jaime Almarza Quezada, fractured his chin and both knees, and is in the hospital recovering. He will live.

The waitress, Emeila Holden of Georgia, is being praised around the world, while the d-bag customer was charged with a misdemeanour. The cops put him in handcuffs in front of his wife and 2 kids, who were with him at the restaurant.

The Nelson family has gone back home with their 2-year-old son, leaving Dozer the Yellow Lab to play fetch with his other best friend, the 2-year-old Richter toddler who lives next door. Young Conway Nelson was there on a play date when the video was taken.

Godzilla, badly injured, has returned to the sea and is presumed dead. Ghidorah has shunned his rightful position as king of all Earth-dwellers, and is working as a barista in a hipster Long Island coffee shop. Rodan, chastised for her destructive behaviour and imprisoned back in her volcanic dungeon, has committed to turning her life around and is learning both the Spanish and Afrikaans languages through Babble. Mothra is continuing to ingratiate herself to humankind by working as the star attraction of an Extreme Petting Zoo, while occasionally ferrying passengers to and from the Statue of Liberty. All while plotting our eventual destruction.